120: Creating a Believable Romance

 

This week's episode covers how to create an authentic, believable romance whether you're writing in the romance genre or writing in another genre with a romantic subplot. 

-----

- Click here for ways to work with me + a free character profile template: www.thekatiewolf.com/info

- The last Tuesday of the month is a Q&A episode! Submit your questions for me HERE.


- TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@katiewolfwrites

- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katiewolfwrites

 

 

CREATIVing a believable romance

Welcome to your big creative life, a podcast for writers and creatives that helps you live your best big creative life, whatever that means for you. I'm Katie Wolf, a writer, book editor and creator. Join me every week for tips and discussion on writing, mindset up leveling your life and anything and everything that will help you achieve your big creative dreams. Let's get started. Hello, and welcome to your big creative life. Thanks for being here. Thanks for listening to the podcast or watching the YouTube video. Yeah, I really have been enjoying, you know, kind of the rebrand and talking about slightly different topics still writing, of course, but throwing in some other episodes. And the feedback has been really good. Just a reminder, if you ever want to share any feedback with me, you can send me a DM at Katie Wolf on Instagram, or definitely, you know, share any episodes to your Instagram stories that you find helpful or leave a review on Spotify or Apple podcasts, that would be awesome.

 

I want to talk about romance today. And not specifically the romance genre, but more about romance between two characters. So the tips and the things that we're going to talk about in this episode can apply if you are writing a romance novel, but they can also apply if you are writing any other genre and you happen to have a romantic subplot. In your book, there is a love interest, your main character is in a relationship. There's some kind of love, you know, plot point that's happening in your book, because a lot of the things that we're going to talk about in the episode and a lot of things that help create really strong believable romances between two characters are kind of similar to you know, whether you're writing a full on romance novel or just a subplot.

 

And I want to say first of all, that I struggle with writing romance, romantic relationships, in anything that I've ever written, I just, it doesn't feel like something that comes naturally to me as a writer, but it's something that I've learned by doing a lot of so where however you feel about it, you know, it's it's okay. And if you are like someone who never wants to put a romance in any of your books, like that's totally fine. This definitely isn't something that you need. But since it's so common, I definitely think we need to talk about it. And I, I would say that, for me as an editor, I think romance is probably the second most common genre that I edit. The first is fantasy. And then the second probably is like contemporary, you know, romance.

 

So I've seen a lot of romance and even in fantasy, a lot of the fantasy novels that I edit or like the romance to see where they have romantic element to it. Or they're just fantasy and they have kind of a romantic subplot. So this is definitely something that I've worked a lot on as an editor as well. So definitely got some some feelings on how to do this. And, you know, before we get into the tips, another thing to say is like, people have different preferences when it comes to tropes that they like to see in romantic relationships, on how quickly the characters get together, there's a lot of this, that's really going to be dependent on the reader. And it's a good thing to remember. You cannot please every reader. So when you're thinking about how to structure your romance, and you're thinking about how to develop these feelings between the characters, or how to throw conflict their way or any of that stuff.

 

Again, you can't please every reader, some people are just going to not like, you know, the romantic subplot in your book, because they just don't like certain things that happen in romantic relationships. And that's okay. I want you to feel confident about the characters that you're writing, I want you to feel confident about the romance that you were developing and the feelings that are ebbing and flowing and developing between these characters. So just keep that in mind. I mean, that's good advice to remember with anything that you're writing that you can't please every reader, but I think it's certainly true with something like romance where people have strong feelings about what they like and what they don't like. So you're never going to please everyone.

 

Okay, I have four tips for you four things that I want to talk about. The first is something that is essential, before even taking into consideration the whole romantic element and that is that your characters, the love interests, the main characters, whoever's involved in this romantic relationship, even if it's more than two people, they all have to be strong characters individually. If you don't have solid characters if you don't have a solid foundation, if you don't, if you're not able to really convey their personality if the readers don't know anything about their backstory, if there's no motivation for the characters individually, then the romance is naturally going to fall flat and not seem strong, not seem believable, because the characters are not strong and believable. This is more true if you are writing a romance novel, that the characters are solid and strong, but it's still really, really true. Even if you have a small romantic thread kind of running through your novel.

 

Let's say as an example, let's say you're writing women's fiction, and you have a solid, you know, you have your main character, who was a woman, and the love interest is a man. If that man, even though they're not a main character, if that man just is totally flat, we have no idea about his personality, we don't really know anything about his motivation, we don't have a sense of who he is what he wants his life outside of this relationship with his main character. If that character isn't strong, then it's not going to be the reader is not going to buy they're not this, they're not going to be invested in this relationship. So even if it's a small, you know, sell plot or be storyline, a novel, he the love, interest still has to be solid. And of course, you're not going to be able to devote as much page time to really developing their character. I mean, you don't have to get like, super in the weeds with giving us all kinds of information about this person, if they're, if this isn't the focus of the book, of course. But still, you can at least give us some general ideas about who this person is.

 

So again, just make sure that those characters are strong individually. Because that is essential before you think about mixing them, you know, throwing them in situations together and making sure that their relationship is strong and believable, and all that. So make sure that you've done that work to develop them individually. Tip number two, is to pace the development of their relationship appropriately. And development doesn't necessarily mean like they start with no feelings towards each other. And then they get together by the end of the book, maybe your characters start out together, and then they break up and then they get back together, maybe their enemies at the beginning of the book. And then they slowly get to a point where they develop feelings, whatever the case is, whatever happens to these people, you know, in your book, you want to pace that progression. appropriately.

 

This is something that there is a bit of a slight kind of preference that goes into this, some people like to speed up the development and throw the characters in bed together. You know, even if you don't actually write those kinds of scenes, that's fine. You don't have to write spicy scenes. But some readers want to just like really kind of quickly get the characters together, and then have them deal with a lot of conflict and things once they're together. Some readers like to see a lot of tension, a lot of build up. And they only actually get together. At the very end of the book, like the last chapter, they finally kissed, they finally meet in person, whatever the thing is, like the culmination of their relationship.

 

So this is a case where you are going to have to decide about the progression of the relationship. And what I mean when I say pace it appropriately. I have seen a lot of manuscripts and read a lot of books where there's something called Insta love, which is essentially that you know, let's say as an example, the love interest meets the main character in chapter two, let's say, by chapter four, they are already professing their love for each other, they already decided that they're soulmates, or maybe not even that extreme, maybe it's that there's an incredible amount of sexual tension. And they're just in it, and they're obsessed with each other. And then it's like, we've got this really quick build up, and then it just kind of stays that way. And there's nothing really building for the rest of the book.

 

So I really want you to think about pacing this appropriately, whatever that means for your book, if you are going to have your characters end up together at the end of your book, there needs to be a foundation laid for that no matter if you're writing a romance novel or another genre that has a romance or romantic relationship in it, there has to be a foundation and the reader has to see that foundation develop. Otherwise, the pay off that emotionally satisfying conclusion when they finally get together, that's not going to be there because we haven't seen them build up and work towards that. It's just like if there's, you know, let's say that the conflict in the book is presented in chapter one, and then it gets resolved in chapter four. And it's like, then then what happens for the rest of the book, where's the rest of the conflict while the steam has just been led out of this?

 

So it's a similar thing with the romantic relationship. And if you are kind of struggling to identify this or you're not really sure what I mean, one of the best ways that you can identify this and start to really kind of train your eye on pace thing for a relationship is to read, and try to identify this in books. You can read romance novels, you can read other genres, whatever, but just pay specific attention to the sort of like the plotting and the pacing of the relationship between the characters. And pay attention to your reaction as a reader, but also just, you know, note how the author is doing how we're seeing that foundation, build, how we're seeing the tension, develop how we're seeing the conflict increase, and then, you know, again, just that progression, see if you can identify that in other things that you read, because that's going to allow you to have a deeper understanding of it and be able to apply it to your own work.

 

Again, whatever the progression is, if it's just, you know, they're hooking up at the end of the book, if it's there, you know, one character is proposing to the other, whatever happens, just just being mindful of that pacing. Okay, next tip, is to increase the tension between the characters who are involved in this romantic relationship, but use it well. If you have so much romantic tension, and or sexual tension right out of the gate with these characters. Again, it's like that, that they shoot up, there's, if you're listening to the podcast episode, I'm like making a motion with my hand that they shoot up, there's all this sexual tension, all this romantic tension. And then that tension has nowhere to go, because we're already at a 10 out of 10. Whereas if you if you kind of slowly build that tension, or maybe the tension shoots up, but then it then it releases, and then it shoots up again. And then it releases and it's kind of like a, you know, up and down, making like an up and down motion with my finger. That's a much, much more effective and realistic way of doing it.

 

Because if you jump from one, like no sexual tension, or major tension in the opening pages, and then all of a sudden by chapter one, or page, let's say, I don't know three or four, they're at a 10 out of 10. Again, they have nowhere to go if you want to keep ramping up that tension. So especially if you are doing something like enemies to lovers or the people start out who are enemies, or maybe they really dislike each other strongly, or they get a really bad first impression when they meet. This is definitely something that you have to pay attention to. If two people really dislike each other, they're not going to have strong romantic tension on page five, if they met on page one, there might be some, there could be some sexual tension that you write in other ways. But like maybe their anger towards each other comes off as slightly like heightened and heated.

 

But it's just not, it's just not a good idea to have like that level of tension right out of the gate if they really strongly dislike each other. And even if you know they're friends, maybe they started off as friends or they're meeting for the first time and they do actually kind of like each other and notice how attractive the other person is maybe just be mindful of how you are utilizing tension and make sure that that tension is not always at a 10 out of 10 that you either slowly work up to that 10 out of 10 or go 10 out of 10 then bring it back down and go back up again back down, etc. That's a much more effective way to use that tension.

 

Last, looking at my list here, okay, create the concrete conflict for the characters individually, but also like for their relationship, there has to be conflict. This is a little bit more important if you're writing a romance novel, but I still think it applies if you're writing some other genre with a romantic, romantic subplot. If the characters have no obstacles, if the characters have nothing to overcome, if the characters don't need to grow at all, there's nothing to really prevent them from getting together on page one like their half. Just like with a with a regular plot, not the romantic plot, there has to be conflict, you have to have conflict in your story in order to provide momentum, in order to give us plot points in order to show us how the current character is growing and changing to create tension, like conflict does a lot of things in a book.

 

And the same is true for your romantic relationship there has to be conflict between these love interests, conflict for the main character on their own, but then also in this romantic relationship. Having characters go through something in their relationship before they ultimately end up together is much more satisfying as well. Like it is really satisfying to read. Either a romance novel or a book with a romantic subplot where the characters have gone through some shit like their relationship has been tested. There's been miscommunication And there's been fights, there's been, you know, danger, there's been like all kinds of things thrown at them, of varying degrees depending on how dramatic you want to make it and what your genre is.

 

But seeing the characters go through those obstacles and fight for each other, and then you know, get together at the end of the book, or stay together, or whatever the resolution is, is so much more satisfying. So once you think about what conflict you can throw in, in their way, as as well as you know, conflict in the main story. And it really helps create momentum, it helps raise the stakes and make things more dramatic. So definitely think about what those kinds of conflict could be. And just a reminder that when I talk about conflict, whether it's in the main storyline, or the subplot, the B storyline, conflict does not have to be something earth shattering, like the ultimate fight of good versus evil, it can certainly be that, especially if you're writing something like epic, fantasy or sci fi, but it can also be that maybe one of these characters is really, really wrestling with trauma, or they're dealing or don't want to deal with something from their past.

 

And that is impacting their present day relationship with this person. It can be all sorts of, you know, things, I mean, just think about real life. If you have a partner, now, I'm sure that you've been through some stuff. Or if you have dated in the past, I'm sure that you have there have been obstacles, if you've had relationships, it's the same thing in fiction. But you can even make them slightly more dramatic. Okay, so those are my tips for doing this effectively doing this well in a way that is going to want to make the reader continue reading to see what happens, but also get the reader invested in this relationship. You want the reader to be attached to these characters and attached to this relationship and have strong feelings about them. And the way to do that is to make sure that the relationship is solid paced appropriately has that conflict, and also making sure that the characters are strong on their own, not just in this romantic relationship. When this is done well.

 

This is one of the most satisfying things to read, I think like as an editor, but also just for me as a reader, a well paced, well developed, romance is like chef's kiss, it's so good, it's so satisfying. And it it really there can really be a big payoff at the end if you do this well. And again, one more time, just a reminder, read if you're really not sure how this works, and you're struggling to kind of apply these things to your own writing, read and analyze how other writers are doing this never to copy but just to see again, like how they're how they're doing this, how they're using these tools in like the writer toolbox to present this relationship to you the reader. So okay, I hope that was helpful.

 

Good luck with your romances, your romantic subplots, whatever you have going on. Yeah, romances are there. Like I mentioned at the beginning, one of my favorite things to edit, like I entered a lot of them, but also to read as well. And that didn't use to be the case I didn't use to really read much romance. But I got into it a couple of years ago and I'm really, really happy that I did because it's like one of my favorite things to read now. So alright, thank you for listening and watching and I will see you next week.

Katie Wolf