152: October Q&A

 

Welcome to the October Q&A episode! Topics discussed include:

  • writing realistic dialogue 2:54

  • getting started with writing when you have brain fog 8:42

  • self-editing your book 12:58

  • my predictions for this season of Love is Blind 18:12

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- The last Tuesday of the month is a Q&A episode! Submit your questions for me HERE.


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OCTOBER Q&A

Hi, welcome back to your big creative life. I'm Katie Wolf, and I just hadto stop and re record this episode because I realized I had food in my teeth. I try not to look at my face when I'm recording the YouTube video. I try to look at the camera. And I didn't realize until a couple minutes in that I had a piece of spinach one of my top teeth, which is just a great look. And I was like, okay, I can't, I gotta start over.

 

Yeah, but we're talking about the questions that were submitted for the month of October, and I can't believe we're already doing the October Q and A episode. This month needs to slow down, partly because I'm writing my book this this month, like October 2 to November 2 is the time that I'm setting aside to write my book. I set this challenge for myself that I was going to write a book in a month a rough draft, a very rough draft, and I'm going to do a whole separate podcast episode once the month wraps, talking about the experience and what I learned, what I did. So I'll talk more about it then. But it's been a reallyinteresting experience.

 

And  I was just talking with someone about this, that one of the most challenging things about it is, honestly, just like, your brain telling you that you can't do it, even though, like, you are doing it. I'm 35,000 words in, and my brain is like, don't even try to write a book in a month. Like, you can't possibly do it. You're never going to be able to do this. And I'm like, well, I'm doing it like, I might not actually finish thefull thing in a month, but it's pretty freaking cool that I've gotten this far. And I decided, okay, you know, what with being sick, with with being a little bit behind schedule on where I want to be in terms of words like, what if I just say I'm gonna write a book in six weeks? That's still cool, maybe not as cool sounding as writing a book in 30 days, but like, that's it. That's that's what I'm gonna do if it, if it turns out that I don't hit it on November 2, but I might get a big push at the end. We'll see.

 

Anyways, we don't have a ton of questions for this month before I dive in, let me just think if there's anything I have to share with you.Um, I don't think so. I don't think there's any any updates. All right, let's get into it. Question number one, do you have any tips on how to write more realistic dialog? I know you did a session on it a month or two  ago, but I missed the deadline to enter it. Are you going to be offering another one? So I can certainly answer some your question. Give you a tip or two about realistic dialog, but let me just first say that yes, I did host a class. It was a workshop on creating realistic dialog, and I'm not going to be doing -- I don't have any plans to do another live one, but I will be putting the replay for that on my stand store. If you go into the description of this episode, into the show notes, there's a link where you can click to get a free character profile to find out ways to work with me. And then you can also purchase my courses and workshops that I have, so I'll add it to the stands for so that you can do that.

 

What was funny about the workshop, the dialog workshop, I created a zoom link for it on my zoom and then the stand store, which is just the platform that I host things on, also created a zoom link. And so there were two. And initially, when the class started, I went in the wrong one and started recording it. And then I realized, like, no one was there. And I thought, huh, that's odd. It's this time it's supposed to start. So then I had to jump over to the new Zoom room, where everyone actually was, but it didn't start recording. So I didn't have a replay of it.And so what I did, because I wanted to send out the replay to everyonewho attended, everyone who purchased the course. There were some people who bought it who couldn't attend live.

 

So what I did is I just recorded it like on my own, just the material, and Iwent through all the slides and everything. But there's not that live component. So when you purchase the dialog training, it'll say that in there. But just so you know, it's not like a workshop that's actually hosted because of the issue with recording. But anyways, all the information is there. So yeah, definitely check check out that training, ifyou would like, when it comes to realistic dialog, one of the biggest liketips and tricks that I have is to do some work to figure out how. Your character, whichever character you are writing dialog for, to figure out how they would sound. Meaning,what kind of speech patterns does this person have, based on their personality, based on their age, based on where they grew up,based on all kinds of things. How would this person speak?

 

Something I talk a lot about is not writing overly formal dialog. That's something I notice a lot in the manuscripts that I edit, is people will often not use contractions. So instead of saying I do not want to go to work today. Or instead of saying I don't want to go to work today, they'll say, I do not want to go to work today, which is a more formal way of speaking. And you may have a character who speaks that way, for sure, but in most cases, you know your everyday, average characteris not going to say that formally, especially if they're talking to friends or family or someone that they know really well. So just think about likeyour character. How would they express themselves through dialog? What are their their ways of speaking?

 

The next trick, when you are drafting dialog or when you are editing dialog, this can be helpful in both points, is to say it out loud, because often when you say dialog out loud, you can catch things that sound awkward, phrasing that just sounds strange, whatever it might be. You can catch those things a lot easier if you say the dialog out loud. And this has helped me in the past where, like, I'll read dialog that I've written and I'm like, it just sounds off. Like something about this just doesn't quite sound real. And then I'll read it out loud and I'll realize what it is like, oh, it's way too formal, or oh, I'm using way too many words in a to have this character talk in a roundabout way, and they wouldn't do that. So it's a lot easier to diagnose issues when you read dialog out loud?

 

Um, another, a final option, a kind of tip or trick that I'll give you is to look at dialog in books. And I talk a lot about reading like a writer, and I think this is true for that for dialog too. I just read a thriller recently. Um, like before I started drafting, because I try not to read thrillers when I'm drafting, since my book is a thriller, or at least books that are not very similar to mine. And the story was good, I ended up reading the full book, but the first chapter, I noticed how stiff the dialog sounded, and it like took me out of the story a little bit. But I was like, well, it's not it's not bad, it's just not great, and it's not enough to, like, prevent me from reading the rest of the book. So anyways, look at dialog in books that you're reading. Look at how the authors using it in terms of, like, a tool, how they're constructing the dialog, how different characters speak. And you'll start to pick up on on differences in dialogand how little things can make a big difference.

 

Yeah, that can really help. I mean, I talk about that again all the time, because it can help for a lot of things, but definitely with dialog and if you want. I mean, if you're in public, this might make you, make you look odd, but you can read it out loud when you're like, if you're just reading a book to yourself. You know, read the dialog out loud to get afeel for how it sounds out loud. Yes, okay, and then definitely go check out that dialog training. If you would like some more tips and tricks on writing dialog in your book. There's also a couple of examples that are helpful, like in that in that class as well.

 

Okay. Next question, how do I get started? I'm disabled, and brain fog has robbed me of the ability to rub two thoughts together. So I'm not disabled. I can't know what it's like to be in your shoes, to be a disabled writer, but I can give you some suggestions for getting started, because that's often a really difficult place for writers, just generally. And I can also talk about writing as someone who has been through pregnancy and postpartum, and there was definitely some brain fog there too. Not that I don't mean to compare, but just to say, I've had periods in my life where I have not felt super energized or motivated, and I've had a had trouble like stringing my thoughts together.

 

So, yeah, okay, one of the the things that I think is super helpful in terms of starting your book is to think about something called an entry point for the story. A lot of people make the assumption, or they believe that they have to start writing on page one, that whatever theybegin typing has to be the first scene of the book. It can be, but it doesn't have to be. If there is a scene that you know is happening, you know it's not the opening scene of the book. You know it's not going to end up being page one later down the road, but it's just a scene that feels more tangible for you, and it feels like you know where it's going or what's happening. Start with that. That can be your entry point to telling this story and getting started on writing the book again. It just, it doesn't have to be page one, Scene one, the first moment of the book.

 

So if there's some, if there's something that just feels easier for you, give yourself permission to start there. The second thing I will say as a recommendation is, I don't know if you have done outlining or not, but remember that you can just almost --- Oh, I heard music. It's my daughter's toy. You can almost like, well, you can do one of two things. You can either just write bullet points for the scene that you want to write. If writing the actual scene just feels too hard. Your brain's not quite there, your body's not quite there. Today, to do that work, just write some bullet points of what you want to happen in the scene. Get some notes down so that you have the building blocks there. You've blocked it out, but you're not actually writing the full thing. And you can also just summarize it like pretend that you are telling someone about the scene that you're going to write.

 

So you're not actually writing all of the description, all of the dialog, all of the action, etc. You're just writing a summary like you're you're telling me or telling someone about what the scene is going to be that can feel a little bit easier. And then again, you've got the bare bones down, you've got the foundation down. Then later on you can go back in and fill it, fill in the gaps. So, yeah, just, just try some different things, even doing some free writing or some journaling, if working on the book or the story, whatever you're working on feels inaccessible. Yeah.

 

Just something to kind of like, open up the gates of, like creativity and and making progress in a way that feels a little bit more accessible andapproachable. That's definitely something that has helped me in the past, and sometimes I didn't do this in the past. This is something I'm really only leaning into now as I'm working on this new book that I'm writing, but dictating for some reason, and I know that I don't know what your disability is, and this is not a blanket recommendation for everyone, because I don't think this is helpful for every writer, but dictating feels a lot easier for me right now. So I'm like, dictating 90% of my book, and then I know obviously I'm gonna have to go through and clean it up later. But so maybe there's a way that you could play around with dictation too, if, like, typing just feels like too much right now. So yes, you absolutely can still make progress. You can still get started, even if you've got some brain fog, even if there's other stuff going on.

 

So okay, how do you edit your manuscript? Like strategies for content editing more than copy. When it comes to editing your book, I'm going to point you in the direction of two resources, and then I'll give you some tips in for to answer your question as well. I have an episode of the podcast that's titled something like self editing your novel that talks about doing that exact thing that you can check out. And then I also have a training in the same, the same same stand store link that I mentioned earlier, where the dialog training is. I also have a training on how to edit your draft. It's a pretty quick training. It's like 35 minutes, and it breaks down my five draft editing method in detail, and it gives you some hacks and tips to just get you through the editing process.

 

But I think, look, there's no there's no, like, one size fits all approach to editing. Some people prefer to just like, start on page one after they finish the draft, and then go all the way through and clean things up along the way. But my recommendation is always to start big and thenget smaller and smaller and smaller and more granular as you go. So what I mean by this is, you finish your first draft, you're celebrating like hell. Maybe you've taken a little bit of a break from it. You go back in, you're ready to start editing. I want you to focus on big picture stuff first. So before you go through sentence by sentence and clean up littleword choices or little bits of dialog or grammar, anything like that. Look at big picture changes. Are there chapters that you want to movearound? Is there an entirely new subplot that you want to add? Is there a new point of view character that you want to add in so you have youknow that you have to write chapters from their point of view that you don't have yet do.

 

Have to rewrite the ending, etc, just like big structural stuff that's going to make a significant difference in the plot. Do those kinds of things first. Then you can move on to looking at your main character. Any scene where that main character is present, looking at do they have a clear motivation? Do they have a clear personality? What is their dialog like? Do they feel consistent? I mean, your main character changes over the course of the book, but like their portrayal, you know,especially in the close together scenes or chapters, do they feel like thesame person? Or have you written them vastly, you know, differently.

 

And then you can get smaller and smaller and smaller. And then once all that other stuff is set and you feel good about the story, that's whenyou go in to clean up things like word choice. You can go sentence by sentence by sentence, cleaning up grammar, etc. The reason I recommend doing this is I don't think it makes a lot of sense to do that line by line kind of clean up if you're going to make big changes anyway, like, I would hate for someone to go through their manuscript with a fine tooth comb and really polish up their sentences, and then get to the end and realize they have to, like, cut entire chapters or rewrite something or whatever, because then you did all that work on those things that you're gonna cut.

 

So it just, yeah, I think it's more efficient to do the big picture stuff first, and in terms of, you know, strategy, or, like, really nitty gritty things likethat, definitely check out the five direct editing method training if you want. But something that I do when I'm going through the manuscript and I'm not ready to look at smaller things yet, or I'm like, oh, I need to go back and fix this. I will put a comment in the manuscript so you, like,in Word, you just do insert comment, you highlight whatever you want. And I'll make a comment to myself, like, hey, come back later and fix this. Or like, Oh, I just remembered I need to go and fix this thing, or edit, you know, polish the pacing here, whatever. Or you can have a separate document open. So like on one side of the screen, you might have your manuscript, and then on the second the other side of the screen, you might have a Word doc open that has just bullet points of stuff that you have to that you want to fix, things that you questions, that you have things that might need to be changed, etc, to just keep yourself on track that way. And then you can delete things or cross things off the list as you go through them.

 

Yeah, I think it I mentioned a break at the beginning when I was talkingabout this question. And I do think it can be helpful to take a break from your manuscript before you start to edit. And I know that's not always possible, because maybe you are an indie author and you have a publication date of when you have started to advertise and like promote to people that, hey, my book's going to be published on this date. So you don't have the luxury of an endless editing window in front of you. You don't have the ability to set it down for a month and then come back. But if you do, I think it's helpful, because it lets you see the manuscript with a fresh set of eyes, or a more like a fresher set of eyes. So that can be helpful, before you dive into editing as well, to take that little bit of a break from the manuscript.

 

I think we just have one more question that I'm very excited about, because it's not writing related. Who do you think is going to make it inthe season of love is blind. I think no one okay. If you do not follow me on Instagram, you might not know this, but I'm obsessed with Love is blind. I watched all the seasons. I don't really watch reality TV, but for whatever reason, love is blind is just like crack to me, like I'm just obsessed. Okay, so this is based off of the time that I'm recording this. The wedding episodes have not come out yet, or episode maybe there's only one. I don't even know. I'm through halfway through episode 11. So I've just finished the party, the flabber Party, that they had. Okay? Hannah and Nick Absolutely not. I've ranted about them on Instagram stories. I just, I cannot, I cannot watch Hannah take care of Nick another moment of my life.

 

I just, it is so painful to me to watch how she manages him, and it's sad because he needs it's like he needs that. This is a 20, I think he's 28 a 20year, eight year old guy who does not have a lot of skills to be living out in the world on his own for a number of reasons that I'm not going to get into, and it's sad. And he does need to grow up, but she should not be the person who's doing that for him. He's not her project. Also, I've talked about this too. It just it makes me sad how she belittles him. He's got his own issues. Their relationship has its own issues, but that's no excuse for her to be so rude to him. Sometimes I'm like, Girl, you're like, so critical of him at all times. Do you even do?

 

Do you even like him? She's like, Oh, I love Nikki D. He's the love of my life, and blah, blah, I don't know. I will throw something at my TV if they get married. I swear. I just I want better for both of them. That's that's not how a relationship should be. In early days, they're like, a few weeks in. Oh, okay, um, Tim and Alex. So I just watched the episode where it seems like they broke up, and Tim was like, I like, never want to see you again. There has to be more to that story. I if they haven't broken up, if somehow they decide to go to I just really hope they don't get married. I think both of them have some growing up to do, and it seems like they're both so inflexible on how they are in a relationship, like how they behave, the expectations that they have for themselves and the other person. They expect perfection of the other person, and like, don't really seem to be taking any responsibility for their own actions. I think they both need to grow up and stop being so flex, inflexible.

 

Um, let's see Taylor and, oh my gosh, I'm gonna have to Google it. All of their names just escaped me. Love is blind. I'm uh, season. What season is this? Y'all seven? I want to say it's season seven. It is okay. I love that they're like. I love that they're in DC. I've spent two years in DC. And I think it's very in some respects, it's very accurate. Okay, Alex and Tim. Hannah Garrett, thank you, Garrett. Garrett Taylor, so it was surprising to me how much of an issue Taylor made that whole text from his ex thing now I understand that he did lie and say, Oh, I didn't. I just hearted in that I didn't respond whatever I do think they're gonna get married. I haven't finished episode 11, and obviously we haven't watched the wedding episodes yet, but I think of anyone I think they have the best shot, my next runner up for who I think might actually get married is Ashley and Tyler.

 

Despite the whole sperm donor thing, I think they have a really good relationship. They seem to have a lot of healthy communication. And yeah, it's a curve ball, and he definitely should have been honest with her and told her, but it doesn't seem like something that can't overcome. So I would say...Yeah, I would say Garrett and Taylor, Ashleyand Tyler are the two couples that I think will make it Marissa and Ramses. Okay? I would have said yes, probably earlier on in this season. But just watching how rams has handled that whole birth control conversation, I don't know. I hope Marissa is having some serious doubts about that. Uh, that was really disappointing to me. I really liked Ramses earlier on. I thought he was a good guy.

 

I thought he was like, it was, it was a breath of fresh air to see a guy who wasn't so like, shackled by these constraints of masculinity and was more like, open and maybe a little bit more vulnerable, and didn't seem to so, like, locked into these gender dynamics that so many of the other guys seem to be on this season and all the other seasons, and then we get that whole thing about the birth control where he throws a fit because he doesn't want to, want to wear a condom.

 

So I don't know, I'm like, on the fence about them. I kind of hope that they don't actually get married, but So those are my those are my predictions. Um, Karen Taylor, Ashley and Tyler. That's it. Now whether those couples that I think will get married will be together by the reunion. Um, TBD, yeah, I really am gonna scream. I'm gonna scream if Hannah and Nick get married when I was watching so I haven't watched any of the love is blind episodes from other countries, except for the UK. I did watch that one. And what was so nice about that season is a lot of the contestants, like I think almost all of them were older. They were in their 30s. It seemed that they had kind of like gotten their shit sorted out. Not to say that you can't be mature and know what you want and ready to get married in your 20s, of course not.

 

But so many of the people on the show who are who are in their 20s, just seem so young and immature and not ready for marriage. So I think that's part of it too. I certainly was not ready for marriage when I was 26 God, I got married when I was 31 and I just my own experience. It could not have been sooner than that. I just wasn't ready. So anyways, that's my rant about. Love is blind. I find it fascinating. I love talking about it with people, because I think it's like, it's just such an interesting window into how people behave in relationships with the dynamics are like, especially with like, modern dating. I think it's fascinating, and it's a good jumping off point for discussion about stuff like gender dynamics, emotional labor, household responsibilities. That's something I rant about this show in this season in particular, on social media too.

 

But, um, anyways, by the time this episode comes out, I think we'll haveone more. I think the wedding episode will be out by the time this Q&A episode comes out. So we'll see if I was accurate. If I was right, we'll seeif my predictions were accurate. Oh, one more thing I have to say. Thank God Brittany and Leo got cut. Can you imagine having to suffer through scenes of them together? I just I could not. It made my like the hair on the back of my next stand up. I'm so glad they got cut.

 

Okay, that's everything for this month. If you have a question that you want me to answer for the November Q and A episode, you can submitit at the the link in the description of this episode. And the episodes come out the Q and A episodes come out the last Tuesday of every month, and like you heard in this episode, yes, you could absolutely askme questions about writing, editing, mindset, creativity, stuff like that. But you can also ask about anything personal stuff, being mom, social media, business, whatever, I'm pretty much an open book, so All right, thank you for listening or watching, and I will see you next week. Thankyou so much for listening.

Katie Wolf