150: Updates on Submission, My New Book, and Writing Life With a 1 Year Old

 

Updates from a writer who is (almost) back on submission! We also cover my new book and the truth about how having a baby impacted my writing this year. 

-----

- Click here for ways to work with me + a free character profile template: www.thekatiewolf.com/info

- The last Tuesday of the month is a Q&A episode! Submit your questions for me HERE.


- TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@katiewolfwrites

- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katiewolfwrites

 

 

UPDATES ON SUBMISSION, MY NEW BOOK, AND WRITING LIFE WITH A 1 YEAR OLD

Hello. I am Katie Wolf. Welcome to your big creative life Podcast. I'm doing an update episode because I haven't done one in a while, and for the most part, I've tried to keep you all updated with what's been going on in terms of my writing and submission and all that. But I just like, I don't know. I feel like I haven't really talked about it in a while, and I feel like the writing part of it and the submission part of it for my book might be helpful. If you are new to the podcast, you're not familiar with my story, but then also, if you're just kind of like, you don't know much about the traditional publishing process, how all of it works.

 

So yeah, let's get into it before we talk about that. Though, I do just want to say that I recording this at the end of September, but it's gonna come out when my daughter is one after Audrey turns one. Her birthday is in October, and I just am having trouble wrapping my head around the fact that it's been a year, and this is honestly the other reason I wanted to do an update episode, is because this ties into my writing. So okay, I've talked to the podcast before about how I was really not sure if I wanted to have kids ever. And in fact, not only was I not sure if I wanted to have kids, but I spent most of my 20s thinking it was a hell no. I was never going to have kids. I was just going to be child free and love my life and story.

 

Then I met Sam, then I well got sober, then I met Sam, and all these things started happening that just made me question it, and it anyways, it was, it was a very long road to get to the point of, like, actually having a baby, and I recorded an episode talking about that. So if you're struggling with that decision and you haven't listened to that episode, definitely check that out, because it it talks about more about my experience with it. But so Audrey is going to be a year old, which means she's been in our life for a freaking year, which I was just telling someone about this. Like, in some ways, I feel like I cannot imagine life without her, and it feels like she's just been with us forever. And then, in some ways, I'm like, wait a second. I had her a couple of weeks ago. She's still this tiny, little, fragile infant. Like, how is she? How is she? How has it been almost a year? It's insane how that happens.

 

And I just want to share I did not. I have been so surprised and delighted by the process of being a parent. Audrey is so much fun, which might sound crazy, because she can't talk, she says, she says a few words, but she can't talk. She can't really communicate. She can't even walk yet. But she just like, I have so much fun with her, and I look forward to seeing her. And I was trying to think of how to word this, because I really want to create some content around this. But it's like I was having trouble figuring out how to articulate this, these thoughts and feelings that I have around this, probably because it is complicated and a mix, and it's like this deep, deep love.

 

But I think what I've settled on is I didn't realize that I would like her so much. Of course, I knew I would love my child no matter what. Of course, I knew it would probably change me, and it would probably be a love like I've never experienced before. Blah, blah, blah, all that cheesy shit that people say. And yes, all of that is true. I there's like this deep, biological love. It feels like a physical thing that I have for her, this this love, but I also just like her. I don't dread being around her. I don't. I'm not like, Oh, I've got to go pick her up from daycare. And like, you know, parent and like, I don't know. I just, I'm not sure what I envisioned, but I didn't expect to like her so much. I like spending time with her. I really enjoy her and getting to see the world through her eyes, and getting to see how much she's changing and growing at a year is insane.

 

She's pulling herself up to standing on everything. She loves doing it at home, we have a coffee table that she just pulls up and stands on all the time, and she can take one arm off of it, but she hasn't quite figured out how to balance without it, and she's not walking yet, but I'm sure it's going to be soon. So anyways, I just want to share that it's been so wonderful to become a parent, and I'm so happy that I waited until this point, and we did have a few years of struggling to get pregnant. So that factored into it as well. But I'm just so happy. I'm so happy that I've at this point in my life, that I became a parent at this point in my life. Now, how it ties into writing, I severely underestimated how I think how challenging the first few months would be maybe even the first six months. The first three months for me were really rocky.

 

Oh, let me back up and explain with the other reason why I wanted to do an empty end episode. So we're it's October when this episode comes out, which means we're getting to the end of the year. And I, the other day, was thinking about the episode that I recorded in January of this podcast, where I was like, I'm declaring it. This is the year I like, take my writing seriously, and I get a book deal and all this other stuff, and it's, there's still a few months left in the year, so we'll see what happens. But I just did not have the mental space or energy to write. And i think i underestimated how difficult it was going to be to adjust to having a baby and to have her home and not have daycare in those early months.

 

We didn't get her in daycare until she was about six months, and, yeah, it just it took a lot out of me, and I'm not always very good at recognizing when things are hard, which might sound weird, but it's like, I kind of just get used to it, and I power through and I adapt, and then it's only when I get out of it that I sort of like, sit up and shake off the fog, and I'm like, wait a second, that was really fucking hard. And that is how I felt about early postpartum. And I haven't really shared much about this. I mean, I know I've talked about how hard it was, but I'm going to talk about anxiety a bit, so just heads up if you're not, if you don't want to hear about that, just a little content warning, I had postpartum anxiety, and I haven't really talked about it, because it took a while for me to understand what was happening and that it was different than my normal anxiety that I have just like every day.

 

And before being pregnant and before becoming a mom, and so those early months were hard, and I wasn't writing, which is fine, like I gave myself grace. I understood that that was not going to be the time in my life when I was really prioritizing writing. But then once she got in daycare, so like between April and now the spring to the fall, I guess I just thought that once she was in daycare, I would have so much more space and so much more creative capacity. And that has not really been the case. I'm only just now in the fall feeling like ready to get back into my writing, which I did have some judgment about. I did have some frustration about that, because this is something I talk about on the podcast all the time. This is something I talk about with clients, I mean, on social media, about fitting writing into your life, so that no matter what you have going on, you can find 10 minutes or 15 minutes.

 

But I couldn't even do that in a lot of months this year, so I have not made much progress on my new book that I'm writing, and there's been a lot of resistance. And the other piece of this that I couldn't fully admit to myself or really articulate is that as a book editor, it's hard for me to have the mental energy and space for my own writing, and I think I've been very hesitant to admit that, because I don't want it to seem like I'm complaining, and I don't want it to seem like an excuse, because I don't want it to be that way. And so I've been denying it, but I talk a lot about how, like, you know, I just don't read as much as I used to, because I read for work now I read client manuscripts all day, and I love that, but it does a downside of that is that I don't read as much as I used to, and the same is true with writing. It was so much easier for me to write when I was working a corporate job and I was doing some editing on the side, but it wasn't my entire job. I just had a lot more creative energy for things like working on my own writing as well, and I think I've just been really hesitant to admit that, but it's just been my reality.

 

I'm still years into this and figuring out the balance of editing projects and coaching projects and content creation and administrative stuff, emails, other long term projects. I'm still very much figuring out the balance of all of those things, to not drain myself, or to not over commit or to not feel burned out, and I don't always do the best job at it. So, and that's not to mention everything else going on in life, like that. That's just the work piece of it. So all that to say it's been a struggle this year with writing. I have time in my date where I could write, but I just am not really prioritizing it. I'm not really doing it again. I'm getting to a space where I am now I have more energy and because I'm deciding to make it a priority.

 

But. Yeah, I think I just had to accept and I've had to accept that it has not been a priority for me this year, and that's hard. It's hard because I'm a writer. It's big hard because I can talk about writing all day, every day, with clients and on social media, and to not do this thing that feels like such a fundamental piece of who I am, it's felt wrong to not do it. But again, it's just the reality of the season of life that I've been in. And it wasn't actually, I have to give one of my coaching clients credit, who is a mom as well. She has two kids, and she mentioned not really doing much of anything the first year that after she had her babies, like the first year was just like, kind of survival and adapting and getting used to things, and also your body leveling out after the crazy hormonal spikes and everything.

 

So there's just a lot going on, and I didn't really anticipate that. So back to writing. Well, not back to we've been talking about writing, but back to my book. I guess I've decided on a different structure for it. It's a thriller that I'm working on, and I'm very excited about the structure of this. I don't want to share too much about exactly what I'm working on or what the story is, and that's not just on the podcast, like I have talked about it with Sam a bit in like, a couple years ago when I first had the idea for this, but since then, I have not even talked to him about it. I haven't really talked to any, like, writer friends about this, because I just want to, like, discover pieces of the story. I'm still in that phase, even though I've written like, 14,000 words of the book. So it's a thriller, and I'm really diving into these characters.

 

And it's like fun, the structure that I'm playing with, and, yeah, and actually, so next week, this will already have happened by the time this episode comes out, but I have just with the way that scheduling for my editing clients worked. I have a week where I'm finishing up one project next week, but that's it. And so I'm going to have a lot more time next week. And I haven't had a week like that in ages where I don't have multiple things going on from an editing perspective or a coaching perspective. So I'm going to devote a lot of next week to writing, and I'm actually going to create some content around that. Talk about writing sprints. Talk about maybe, like, I'll have a day where I go aim for like, 5000 words. I don't know. I'm just gonna have fun with it and see what happens next week. So more about that to come. Or maybe you'll see me share about that. You'll have seen me share about that on social media by the time this episode comes out. But, yeah, we'll see. We'll see.

 

There's also I will share. There's also a piece of me up, a part of me that's been wondering about something nonfiction. I don't know if I'm ready to say anymore, because I'm still really thinking through what this would look like, but it is something that's been in the back of my head. I don't know if now is the right time for me to really pursue it, but and and maybe what this is, is just like my creativity for writing is kind of coming back, and I'm getting more ideas, which is cool. I do feel, even though I haven't really had a lot of energy or or ability to write, I have had a lot more creative energy for content creation, because it's different that there are different types of focuses. I'm not reviewing content all day. I'm sure that if I was was a social media manager, or, like, creating content for other people, I'm sure that the last thing I would want to do is make my own content.

 

But because that's not what I do, it feels fresh. It feels energizing. I've been really loving it and having fun with it, and so that has has been fun. But, yeah, I have a call with my agent next week to discuss plans for a second round of submission for my book. This book went on submission. God, when was it last year? Yeah, 2023, and we hit some bumps in the road, and I we took the book off of submission, because one of the big components of that book was the main character had a podcast, and that was like the story engine that got her to this Georgia town to to do an episode on this particular thing related to sororities. And we got feedback from editors that there were just too many books out there about podcasts, and so we pulled it and made some changes, and it just my agent went through some stuff this year, and it has not gone back out yet on submission, but we're we have a call to talk about that, and I also want to talk to her about my next book.

 

So every agent is different in terms of how they prefer to, kind of like almost consult with their authors about projects. And I don't actually know how Molly really prefers it. I just sent her an email. Was like, Hey, I'm diving into this book. Do you want me to chat with you about it, or do you just want to see a draft once it's done? So. I'm gonna find out more about what she prefers. But yeah, it just varies. Some agents are like, Nah, go for it. They might, like, ask a question or two, and they'll be like, Yeah, sounds good to send me a first draft. And some agents are like, let's really talk about this and make sure that this is the next book that makes sense for you, for your career, for the direction you want to head in. And there are a lot more hands on and more like editorial in that process. So it just depends. It's not right or wrong. They're just different ways of dealing with authors, different ways that agents deal with their clients. So yeah, we'll see. We'll see what comes from that.

 

And I wonder too, I'm someone who operates well with motivation to get things done, like, if I have two years to write a book, it will probably take me two years to write a book. If I have four months to write a book, it will probably take me four months to write a book. And I've provided that motivation on my own before. When I really wanted to finish this book, I set a challenge for myself that I was going to write 1000 words every day, and I wrote most of this book doing that, so I can set that up for myself. But I think, just given how difficult it's been for me to write, I think some external accountability might be what I need. So I'm hoping that talking with Molly will be a good opportunity for me to say, like, Hey, I'm gonna have this draft ready for you on this date, and maybe I can really start prioritizing it and getting excited about it. I mean, I am as I'm getting back into it, but it's like I have to fall back in love with this idea and these stories of these different characters and how everything comes together.

 

So yeah, it's just like reminding myself of why I wanted to write this particular book in the first place. So I will keep you all posted if I can about updates with submission in our second round and our strategy, and if you can cross your fingers for me. I don't even know exactly what the plan is going to be, but there's still a few months left in 2024 so there's always a possibility that I could still get a book deal, because we only did one round of submission, and I'm just hopeful that we can still send it out to more people, because only one editor has seen the non podcast version, like the updated version that I did, that I worked on last year. So I'm hoping that there's an opportunity to send it out to more people. So yeah, that's kind of how submission works. Just to step back for a second.

 

So your agent, when you, when you sign with an agent, you'll do some edits on your book, and then you'll send it out. And usually there's a they do, the agent pulls together like a list of editors at different publishers that they think would be a good fit. And you don't send it to everyone all at once. So you send it to a list of people that they think would be good fits, who would be interested in this type of book, who would be good homes for for you and your book to land. And then, based on feedback, you might revise your plan. You might edit the book a bit more. You might get a book deal right away if one of those editors at the publishers are interested. But if not, then you usually go on to a second round of editors to see if any other editors are interested. If all of those people in that first round passed. I don't know if it goes into the third round. I guess it varies. It depends on like kind of your strategy and your book, and what kinds of presses or publishers you want to be submitting to.

 

And also depends how big your list of editors is. I mean, if you only send it to five editors on the first round and then four editors on the second round, then, yeah, you're probably going to do multiple rounds, but if they're bigger, you might not. So there's a lot of strategy that goes into it on the agents part, which is a big benefit of having an agent, because they know all of this stuff, and they're also balancing it with their other clients and kind of knowing, like what direction the industry is heading in. There's just so much knowledge that they have that people on the outside don't have, so it's valuable in that piece of the process. So like I said, I'll keep you all posted, and I am so excited to be like, just, I don't know, getting back into writing, getting back in touch with this part of myself, which sounds so crazy to say, because it's something I do all day, every day, but for me, like as my own writing, I really want to get back into that and focus on that, because ultimately, that's my goal. Like I want to be an author.

 

I want to have a long publishing career, and I'm hoping that that can be, that I can start that soon. And I've talked on this, I've talked about this on the podcast too. Like, okay, absolute worst case scenario, this book also doesn't sell. Okay, well, I've got this new book idea in the works. Like, I'm already, I've already started writing it, so maybe that's the one I don't know. I don't even want to go to too far down that road, because, like I said, I'm we're gonna come up with a plan about what to do next with the book. So we'll see. I guess I need to. I need to, like, refer to them as title. Because I've been referring to them as, like, second book and third book, but none of these books have been published yet, so like me saying second book doesn't mean anything to all just they're just the order that I've written them in.

 

But the second book, the one that was out on submission, and hopefully will be back out on submission, is called love you, miss you. And then this new book that I'm writing, I don't have a title yet. Most of the time, I found with anything that I write, books, short stories, essays, whatever, I wait until the very end to come up with a title, but we'll see. So that's the update with writing and with submission. Let me see if there's anything I want to share when this episode comes out. Novel jumpstart will be underway, which is exciting. Oh, I do want to tease one more thing in December. Date is TBD. But sometime in December, I want to do like a, kind of like a, if your goal is to write a book, or your resolution for 2025, is to write a book, I want to do like a short training, slash workshop on that.

 

And what I'm thinking I'm gonna do is have, like, a set your own price thing. So if you want to pay five bucks for the workshop, awesome. If you want to pay me 99 bucks for the workshop, awesome. So it's gonna be like a pay what you want. Just come hang out. We'll talk about goal setting and how to, like, break down the process of writing a book. So if you are someone who's new to writing, or even if you're not new to writing, even if you've written multiple books before, but you just want that, like excitement and to kind of learn some different strategies, or break down the goal setting, process, intention, setting, whatever, then keep an eye out for more information about that. Like I said, I'll share once it gets closer and once I pick a date, but that's going to be fun. It'll be fun thing to do in December.

 

I think 2023 I did a training kind of similar, but it was in January, and I feel like I want to do it in December, to take advantage of, like, pre holiday stuff, and just get people excited so that once January 1 hits, like they know what they're doing and they're ready to write their book. So okay, I appreciate all y'all listening to this update and for sending, you know, good vibes for the book and just a lot of sweet messages to like, I feel like I have a lot of, actually, it's not even true. A lot. I feel like I have such a diverse like, group of writers who follow me and consume my content and who are clients. And I don't know like this community is just so diverse in so many ways, which I love, but there are a good number of parents in the people who like, follow me and listen to the podcast and everything, and I've gotten some really sweet encouraging messages anytime I've shared anything about parenting.

 

So I just appreciate that. I really appreciate that anytime I've asked for advice, y'all have really come through with stuff, and I need to do that more, because first kid, I mean, you just like, are figuring it out as you go. And I really appreciate learning from people who have done this before and to also done this multiple times, which is so impressive to me after having one baby. Oh, man. So anyways, I just want to say I appreciate you being a part of this community and listening to the podcast, and I will keep you all posted as much as I can with how everything shakes out, and I'll catch you next week. Thank you so much for listening.

Katie Wolf