115: Can You Manifest Creative Success?

 

Manifestation has received a lot of attention lately as a way to bring the things you desire into your physical reality. We talk about the basics of manifestation, my own experience with manifesting as it relates to writing and business, and what the limitations of manifesting are. 

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CAN YOU MANIFEST CREATIVE SUCCESS?

Hello, and welcome to your big creative life. Thanks for being here. Appreciate it. This episode is something that I hinted at maybe a month ago, I could have mentioned that I'd be doing an episode talking about manifestation. And I just want to warn you that we're going to get woowoo. In this episode, we're going to talk about spirituality, not religion, but a little bit about spirituality, about energy and source and the universe and making things happen, and just all that. So just going with an open mind, if you are not really familiar with manifestation, you're not sure what all of this really means. And especially if you're still sorting out how you feel about it, because I certainly am. And that's something that we'll cover in this episode is sort of like my own wrestling with it over the last six years or so. And then like where I've landed, when it comes to my own beliefs about, you know, the power of our subconscious mind, if we can bring things into reality, co creating with the universe, all of that.

 

So yeah, we're gonna get woowoo. And keep an open mind. That's what I'll say. So if you are not really familiar with what manifestation is, I want to just talk briefly about what this concept means. And there's one of the problems with manifestation in this whole, like subject area is that people use different words to talk about the same thing. And so there's a lot of sort of confusion around what this is, and I'm not an expert on this at all. So I'm just gonna give you like a bare bones basic level kind of understanding of this. And there's so much information out there, if you're curious, and you want to do a deep dive into what this belief is --- what these ideas are.

 

So manifesting, kind of at its core is this idea that you have the power, with your thoughts and your beliefs to bring things into reality that you can make things happen. This does not mean sitting on your couch, wishing for a brand new car, and then that brand new car shows up tomorrow in your driveway randomly. That's not really what manifestation is. It's more if you truly want this new car. It's about aligning your thoughts and your actions and your beliefs and taking on the identity of someone who has a new car, being open to creative ways to making money, creative ways of making money, like all of these doing doing work, you know, taking action, but then also being open to something kind of mystical and cosmic happening to allow this car to show up in your life. That's really what manifestation is. There are a lot of different branches of it. There's the law of attraction, there's a kind of a subset of manifestation, I feel like that really focuses on positive thoughts that like you have to have good vibes only.

 

And if you have negative thoughts, you're not going to get the things that you want in your life. And anyways, there's there's just a lot out there about this, but I want to talk about it because it is. Yeah, it's just I'll be honest, it's something that I'm really wrestling with. And I've seen some social media content around this related to writing and creativity and making money as an author or creative. So we should talk about it. My introduction to the idea of manifesting came in like 2017 or 2018. So shortly after I started writing, and it was through this book called You're a Badass at Making money by Jensen Cero. She wrote, You're a Badass, which was like a huge bestseller. But I didn't read that one. I hadn't even heard of it. And then she wrote this follow up book that was your about us and making money. And I don't know how I picked it up. Like I don't know, I wasn't really into a lot of like self help or mindset kind of books. So I have no idea what possessed me to pick this up.

 

But I bought it and I read it. And it was so eye opening to me because I had just, you know, maybe a year or two before that started writing, started thinking about public the publishing path that I wanted to take, which included me getting an agent, I started to think about my career and how I didn't want my career to be what I was doing at the time, which was working for a law firm, like in the basically as a law librarian. That that just it wasn't what I was super passionate about. I didn't feel like it was my purpose on this earth. And so I was just exploring a lot of other things. I was thinking about starting a business. So I was at this place of searching and wondering, and I feel like this book kind of landed at my, you know, on my lap at the perfect time and I was open to these things.

 

And I was not a woowoo person for the majority of my life like I was very skeptical and I still am kind of skeptical. Honestly, if something's related to manifesting and even spirituality. I mean, I don't want to like get into my whole religious upbringing and background and how I've deviated away from that. But yeah, I think I was just more open to things, then. I think a lot of people got introduced to the law of attraction and manifesting through this book called The Secret. Maybe you remember that coming out years ago, it was a massive bestseller and talked about, you know, the secret to getting what you want. And I actually haven't read the book. Maybe I will at some point, I don't know, probably not. I feel like I've since done a lot of my own kind of learning about manifesting and come to my own sort of conclusions about it. So I don't know that I'll ever read it. But yeah, I think that's, that's, I feel like that's one of the main things that brought manifesting kind of like into the mainstream a little bit, where before, it was a little bit more out there a little bit. Well, super woowoo.

 

And now it's become this thing that a lot of people talk about it and maybe you've seen it on Tik Tok, maybe seen it on Instagram, where people are just talking about manifesting this and oh, oh, I manifested this, and I manifested this and blah, blah, blah. So it. Okay, what I want to what I want to talk about is a little bit of my experience with manifesting some things that I've been able to bring into my life. And then also some limitations of it. And some things that I've noticed that are kind of concerning when people talk about manifesting. And then ultimately, we'll kind of, you know, I'll just give you some things to consider. If you are kind of just starting out on this, or you're not really sure why you think.

 

So I mentioned that book that that kind of was my introduction to this world. And I got so into it, y'all, I was like doing all of these rituals that people suggested where you write your desire for, you know, three times in the morning, three times in the afternoon, three times in at night, and you would write it down as if it has already happened. So let's say that my desire was, I want to get a six figure book deal. Well, you don't want to say I want because that that's putting out there that you are in a state of wanting that you don't yet have the thing that you want.

 

So what you're supposed to do is you're supposed to say, I am so grateful for this massive six figure book deal that I received, like you write it and you act as if you already have that thing, that you are already embodying the person who has the thing that you desire. So I write this down. And I would do these visualizations. And I would just imagine, like, how it oh, how's it going to feel when I get the news that I get this massive book deal, and I get all this money, and I'm able to quit my day job. And I pictured you know, where am I when I'm getting the news? Who am I going to tell first? What is this editor going to be like that I've worked with? Who's his agent going to be like that I signed with first? How is my life gonna change? You know, I just really get into it. And that's that's part of the practice manifesting is you really lean into visualizing, and acting as if you already have this thing.

 

So I was doing all of this journaling. I was doing this visualizing, I was acting as if I was a successful author, even though I don't even think I had finished writing the book at that point, let alone started to edit or query or anything like that. And I was really just working on my beliefs. And I did all these rituals, I did all these crazy things, to, you know, put out to the universe that I was ready that I was ready. I was in a perfect position to call this thing into my life. I trusted the universe, that timing was going to be right for me. And I had a specific number that I wanted, and I'm not gonna tell you what it is. Because it's like, fucking embarrassing when I think about it, but I shouldn't say I should. I'm like judging myself when I say that. But it was a lot of money. It was a lot of money. And I had this specific amount that I wanted. And I was just leaning into it. And I was, I was like, so sure that this was going to happen. So then finished my book. And my book, queried got an agent. And it was like, Oh, yes, it's happening. It's happening. For me. This is so exciting. I'm on the road. This is so incredible. It's only a matter of like weeks. Now before I get my book deal. Like I was so delusional. I signed with her in like May. Oh, I want to say I was listening to an episode that came out a couple of weeks ago.

 

Oh what was it on? Oh, you're the creative pep talk episode. And I mentioned that I said in that episode that I signed with my agent 2018. And that's wrong. I signed with her in 2019. I just got the years wrong. So I apologize, I need to retract -- it was 2019 May of 2019 that I signed with her. So I signed it through May and I was thinking like, Oh, by July I'll have a book deal. Like no doubt I'll be able to quit my job probably by like August, you know, with this big massive book deal and this paycheck that I'm getting, and part of it was I just didn't understand how slow traditional publishing moves and I didn't understand that we'd be doing revision for several months we'd be, you know, when we put the book out on submission, it would take editors a while to get back to us. And even when you do get a book deal, you don't just get all the money, you know, that day in your bank account, you get paid out in installments, your agent takes a cut is much more complex than I realized. And so I just had a certainty though, that it was going to work out that way.

 

And if you've been listening to the podcast, or you've been following me for a while, you know that that did not happen. We went on submission shortly before COVID. And we had an editor who's interested. But we need to do some revision first. And then unfortunately, that editor got laid off, and the imprint actually closed down. It was an imprint and a big five publisher. And then everything just grinds to a halt when COVID really hit and that was it. My book just didn't sell. So then once that happened, I felt like my belief in my certainty in this thing happening was so shaken that I didn't know how to recover. I was so devastated. And I was so angry with the universe, because I thought that this was just how it was going to happen for me. And we'll talk a little bit more about this in a few minutes.

 

But that's one of the downsides of really leaning into manifesting because I got so obsessed that it was going to happen this one particular way, that when that didn't happen, I felt completely shattered. And I felt like well, am I even on the right path? I started questioning my writing, I started questioning my purpose, I started questioning my editing business, I started questioning all kinds of things because it didn't happen. And then I was like, well is all this stuff bullshit, then like is all of this just meaningless if I can't, like make this thing happen. And so that was kind of earth shattering for me in a lot of ways, because it does suck, it just sucks to have a book die on submission, and to not get a book deal. Like it's really hard to go through. So once that process was over, I kind of you know, had some self pity I licked my wounds, everything was fine. And I moved on.

 

I kind of realized that what I was doing, when I was working so hard on the manifesting, manifesting that particular book deal for that particular amount was I was obsessing. I was living in the future, I was so obsessed with this particular thing happening this specific way that I wanted it so tightly controlled, that I was not enjoying the ride, I was not enjoying the process of writing new stuff, because I was so fixated on how this was going and obsessively checking my email and being like, Am I doing the right things? Am I doing enough rituals? Do I need to do? Do I need to light a candle and say it this way? Do I need to manifest and write out my list of the things that I want on a full moon do I need to like I was just going crazy with it. And that's obsession that I was obsessing about it, I was not trusting that there was a path for me that I was, you know, maybe meant to do something slightly different. Like I just was not open to an alternative. And I was obsessed. And it really made my mental health and my mindset and my quality of life suffer.

 

So I think that when we talk about manifestation, all of those things are wonderful, like, it is wonderful to put your big desires out into the world and to claim them and to say that this is what I want, this is what I'm working towards. And to go 10 steps further than that, not just, this is what I want. But this is what I already have. This is what's already mine, it's just a matter of time before it comes into my reality. You can work on your feelings of worthiness. You know, I mean, that was something that I had to work on that I'm actually kind of grateful for now is I really didn't feel I had a lot of imposter syndrome and doubt when I started writing. And I had to kind of work through some of that. I mean, it never went away.

 

And I don't think it ever will sometimes I do still have those feelings of of doubt and impostor syndrome. But, you know, if I was going to be this big, full time author, then I had to accept and feel worthy of that, that my writing was good enough. Not that I'm not not full of ego, not thinking I'm the best writer in the world. But at least that my writing was good enough to get me to this point. I had to be willing to accept success. You know, I have this kind of fear of failure ingrained in me for a lot of reasons. And I think a lot of us do, where we struggle to feel worthy of success. And oftentimes we'll do things to kind of sabotage our efforts because we deep down don't feel like we're worthy to have the success that we want. So all those things that I did, I do think they were beneficial in some, you know, in some ways, but I think that when we talk about manifesting, we have to be careful too. not get to the point of obsession, and not live in the future.

 

That is just something that really, really, it's an easy road to go down. Because when you are constantly thinking about, you know, oh, I've got to have positive thoughts about this thing that I want the thing that isn't here yet, I've got to like, make sure my vibes are right, I've gotta be worthy, I've got to like, arrange my life so that this, I'm ready for this thing to come in. It's so easy to get caught up in that and to make it so you're not enjoying the present moment. So you are not present with the people in your life. So that you're not present for the things that you're creating and enjoying the act of creating. I can say so much more about this and go on a million different tangents about it. But I want to, I want to just circle back to kind of where I've settled with this. Because yeah, those are some of some downsides of of manifesting that maybe, I don't think they get enough attention, honestly, because I think people are, are afraid to say that they have doubts, or they're afraid to be like, you know, I'm kind of obsessing over this thing.

 

And I'm like living in the future. Because then it's like, then it's like, oh, well, well, of course, I'm not getting what I want. Because I have doubts, because I don't think it's actually going to happen for me, then, of course, it's not showing up in my reality reality. So I've got to always have positive thoughts, and always positive emotions. And that's just not realistic. It's not possible to be in this like, positive, wonderful state all the time excited for this thing called like, it's just not possible to have positive emotions all the time. The other limitation of manifesting is it ignores very real systemic issues that prevent people from getting the things that they want, are worthy of desire, everything. I'm talking about the writing world, in the traditional publishing world, in the sense that, you know, I, when I started writing my first maybe my second short story, I can't remember I submitted to the Paris Review.

 

The Paris Review is an incredibly prestigious literary journal. And my writing was nowhere near the caliber that it needed to be to be published in the Paris Review. So I could have worked on my manifesting and my beliefs and my feelings of worthiness, and visualize getting accepted by the Paris Review and thought about how I was going to celebrate and how I would frame it on my what, like, I could have done all of those things. But it wouldn't have happened, because my writing was just not good enough. And I think there is some of that inherent in the traditional publishing process. Even right now my situation is, you know, that I've signed with a different agent, we have a book out on submission right now, there could just be no editor that really feel strongly enough about this book to take it on. And I could not get a book deal again for this book.

 

You know, even though I desperately wanted, and I'm thinking about and I'm calling it in, and I truly believe that this is meant to happen for me at some point, maybe this isn't the book, maybe this book is just not strong enough. And I don't say that from a place of like, negativity or doubt, I think I've just come to this place in the last week or so where I'm like, You know what, I accept that this is going to happen for me, for sure. But I don't know the how I don't know if this is the book that's going to get me a book deal. Maybe it's not. But I do know that I'm going to get a book deal. Like I just I know that that's going to happen. But it might not be this book, it might not be how I think it's going to happen.

 

So there are systemic forces out there, there are gatekeepers who have to sign off and say, Yes, this is at the level it needs to be this is sellable. This is marketable all of these things. And then I'm also talking about very real systemic issues like racism, and homophobia, and all kinds of of bias and beliefs that just get in the way of things happening for people. And those are very real barriers to face, when you are a person of color, or you are a queer person, or you are dealing with some kind of disability or any number of other things. So I think it's kind of like, people tend to look through the world with these rose colored glasses when they're like, oh, just just manifest it.

 

Like if your thoughts are positive, and your vibes are right, you can get anything you want. You can bring anything you want into reality. It's like well, sure, but also we have to acknowledge that there are forces out there in the world that make it actively difficult for certain people to get what they want to get where they want to go. And that's just the reality of the world that we live in. So I don't think it's I don't think we can ignore those things. And then one other thing I'll say about this I'm gonna give you an example to kind of illustrate this. But sometimes I struggle with people using the word manifest, like, oh, I manifested this successful business, for example, when it's like, sure you okay, you did, but also you just set a goal, and you worked really hard to get to meet that goal. And my example is just my own business. I mean, when I first started a business, there wasn't it's not the business that I have.

 

Now. I was, you know, I wanted to quit my day job. That was my that was my goal. That was my intention that it was a side hustle to start with, but I wanted it to get to the point where I could take it full time. And so it was a process of several years before that happened before I was making enough revenue, where it financially it was doable for me to quit my day job. And so you could say, like, I could say, I manifested a successful, you know, six figure business. Sure, yes, I believe that, that a lot of it has to do with my mindset and my beliefs and calling this thing in. But also, I set a goal several years ago, a number of years ago, and I worked really hard towards that goal and achieved it. So I don't know, I think there's a there's a line there that kind of gets blurred. Like I heard someone once talk about something she's like, I've been working on manifesting this for 10 years, which I, I believe her and I believe that she did, but I also just think, you know, maybe that's just the goal that you worked hard towards.

 

So, okay, I want to tell you kind of where I'm at with this so far. Well, at this point in my journey, and my connection with the universe, whatever. And saying universe, you know, you can substitute whatever sort of entity you are being for that it can be source energy, it can be God, it can be Jesus, it can be Mother Earth, whatever you want it to be, but I use the word the universe, because that's kind of what I'm most comfortable with. Or God like God, the God of my own understanding. Where I now out with it now is I truly believe that the universe is looking out for me, I truly believe that the universe is looking out for you as well. Again, whatever word you want to substitute for the universe, that there is a path that you are on that there's a reason you are drawn to the things that you are drawn to, and that the things that you want, the things that you're seeking, are also seeking you.

 

I truly believe that I also believe that we can put out into the world the things that we want, we can work on our worthiness we can embody it, we can visualize how it's going to feel, and we get the things that we want, and we become the person we're meant to be and all of those things. And that the universe also has a path and designed for us than that is greater than what we could possibly imagine. And how things happen is not our business. I have realized through my own process and going through this, that I cannot nail down exactly how things are going to happen for me, I can look back and say yes, I have manifested some really cool things. If we phrase it that way. I just talked about leaving my job and taking my side hustle full time, I signed with two agents. That's incredible. I got my work published online, you know, all these things that have happened that are really incredible.

 

And I believe they're stepping stones to get me where I want to go. But I could never have predicted when I started writing, like seven years ago, that things would happen this way, I never would have predicted this, I never would have predicted starting an editing business that wasn't even really made me it was kind of in the back of my mind. But it was something I barely thought about when I started writing, because I just started writing. So I knew I couldn't, you know, I'm not in a position to be editing other people's work at that point. But I could never have predicted how things would have worked out. So I do believe that we can get clear on what we want, we can get clear on the desire. But also leave room for surprise and let the universe take care of how things work. And also just released the timing, you know, like that's kind of brought me some peace.

 

And it's funny. I'm saying this and I know in a previous episode in the creative pep talk episode, I think it was I was like, This is my year, I'm getting a book deal. And I just go back and forth with that so much because I'm like, I do feel like this is a magical year for me. Like I do feel like there's some magical shit in the air. But also I'm releasing the expectation of how things are gonna happen and I'm releasing the timing so they don't happen. If I don't have my book deal on March 1. I'm not going to be like, What the hell universe where is it? I'm just releasing the timing and trusting that things will unfold how they're meant to unfold. So I invite you to do the same whether you are full on into manifesting and have manifested some incredible things in your life, or whether you are a total skeptic and you are just now hearing about this and you're like, What is this woowoo bullshit, wherever you are the spectrum, like leave room for some magic to happen.

 

And also just get clear on on what you desire. I think so many parts in the process of manifesting are so helpful. Again, like getting clear on what you want, what you want, but also what you don't want. Thinking about, you know, big dreams that you have for your life, making sure that you're working on your mindset and feeling worthy of the things that you want. Like, those are all wonderful things. So even if you don't totally buy into manifesting, I think those things are worth giving you some energy to, again, just as long as it doesn't kind of tip over into that obsessive, desperate energy of like, why isn't this thing here yet? Why don't I have the book deal? Or why don't I have the money? Or why don't I have the romantic partner that I want? Like, where are they? Is that can easily happen to so this episode was a little all over the place.

 

But I just wanted to talk about, again, I I feel like this is just becoming a conversation more on social media. Or maybe it's just my algorithm is showing this to me because it knows I'm sort of interested in this and really wrestling with it. But yeah, it's it's a complex issue. In some ways. Even though the act of manifesting the idea of it is pretty simple. There's a lot that goes into it. And what do I want to say? It's like it's simple, but not easy to do this because it requires looking at a lot of your limiting beliefs about why you think certain things aren't possible for you and really diving into your mindset, which isn't always comfortable. So let me know your thoughts on this episode. I'm really curious what y'all think about this woowoo stuff. And if you have any experience kind of like manifesting success as a writer or creative, you know, let me know I'm definitely open to hearing about it. And I love hearing about other people's experiences with this too. So alright, thank you so much for listening and for having an open mind about this episode. I appreciate it.

Katie Wolf