035: Leaving My Literary Agent + Querying (Again)
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Leaving My Literary Agent + Querying (Again)
So, here we go. I decided to leave my agent. And I want to talk about why. And I want to talk about just my thinking and what I'm doing next. Because this is something that I don't hear a lot of agented writers talking about. This is kind of one of those behind the scenes episodes to kind of just talk about what's going on with with my writing my writing journey, and also just talk about the process of querying again. So just for a little bit of quick backstory, in case you're not familiar with my story, or where I'm at, I signed with my agent in 2019, for my first book, which was women's fiction, and we did some revision, and it went on submission a few months before COVID hit. And we had an editor at a big five press who was interested, and I was doing a revision, a revise and resubmit for her. And then unfortunately, COVID hit and that editor got laid off, and the imprint that she was working in actually just completely dissolved. That was when things were like kind of scary in publishing. And so things just kind of ground to a halt. As far as like new deals for debut authors. And that book did not sell, we ended up pulling it. And I wrote a second book that's much more kind of a thriller, I guess like upmarket thriller, and was going to be working on line edits and kind of revision with my agent before we sent it out to publishers.
Now, my agent is fantastic. She's so good at what she does, and she's so editorial, meaning she is really collaborative and isn't afraid to give feedback on the story and kind of a more detailed way. And she's absolutely helped me become a better writer. You know, she's she's had a big impact on on me and my writing. But I just got to a point over the winter where I was feeling like we weren't quite on the same page. And honestly, this book, I mentioned the different genres. I mean, a thriller is very different than women's fiction, there are two different genres. And yes, there's some overlap in terms of the themes that I'm exploring. And the age of the characters is kind of similar in some ways. But that's, that's really it. My first novel dealt a lot with family dynamics, different generations, alcoholism, family secrets. And this, this second book called scoop, does not it they're, they're just very different. And I honestly don't think I would have queried my agent, if I had written this book first. If this was the book that I was initially querying with, just because it's not, she's not really a thriller agents. And of course, you know, when you sign with an agent, you hope that they love whatever you write, and you hope that you stick with them for the course of your career. But that doesn't, that doesn't always happen.
Actually, when I started and started looking into this idea of leaving your agent and finding a different one, I realized that it's fairly common. You know, if you think about a writer over the course of their career, all the books that they're publishing, most writers will change agents at some point. It's not unheard of. So it wasn't like this was, I was the first person to ever attempt this. But yeah, I just started thinking about, about getting with someone who was maybe a little bit more aligned. And it was really scary, because querying is scary. Being at the mercy of agents is scary. You are putting yourself out there. And they are the gatekeepers of traditional publishing. If you don't find an agent who really believes in your work and who, you know, really, the story really resonates with them. You're not You're not going to get past that to get to publishers. And that's one of the most frustrating things about traditional publishing, but it's just the reality of how it's set up. And so it was very scary because in when you leave your agent, you have to cut ties with them before you can start querying to find someone new.
So as I started thinking about this, I just decided, You know what, I think this is ultimately what's best for me what's best for my career. Again, not I have I've, she's a wonderful agent. But it just felt like the right decision for me. And there was someone on tik tok, a tiktok friend of mine, who, writer friend who i've kind of gotten to know a little bit, who left her agent recently. And I was messaging with her. And she really kind of told me why she left her agent and was very encouraging. And I just felt like, you know what, this is the right time to do it. So in the contract, sometimes there's language about oh, you have to wait 60 days, or 90 days, or 30 days or whatever, before you can query again, basically, the agent has to stop doing all work on your main script on book deals on everything that they're doing for you. And then you kind of wait in that transition period while they wrap things up. And then you're free to query to try to find a new agent. And I totally understand why that rule is in place. But yeah, it means you're basically leaping out into the unknown, and starting to query again.
So as of the moment that I'm recording this, I had, I put together a query letter, which was like, Oh, my gosh, I can't believe I'm doing this again. And thankfully, I found out a blog article that was kind of an interview with two literary agents talking about how to query when you've already had an agent. And they had a great recommendation in there. I'll I can link the article in the show notes, but or in the description of the episode. But basically, they were saying, if you've been agented, before, there, it doesn't, it's not a positive thing. It's not a negative thing. It just is. And, you know, here's some language you can use to put in the query letter so that agents you're querying know, that you've been represented before. And it's also important to put that this manuscript that you're querying with has not been on submission yet, which mine has not. We were very early in the editing phase before I decided to move on.
So I did that I put together a query letter, got, read through my manuscript one more time made a couple of small changes. And started querying again. And as of, of the time that I'm recording this episode, I sent it out to a small handful of agents. And I've had two full requests, which is very exciting, but also very nerve wracking, because I just, I just don't know what to expect. And I'm also, as one does, obsessively checking my email, every two seconds, it's bad. I had set a rule for myself the first time around, when I was querying that I would only check my email twice a day. And I need to get back into that habit. Because checking it every two minutes, like I'm doing is just unsustainable. It's like tearing me away from my work. It's just, it's not good. So I'm going to, I'm going to put that rule in place where I only check my email twice a day, and try to just not go crazy thinking about this. But yeah, that's, that's where I'm at. And it was, like I said, it was a very difficult decision. And just the nature of it, like having to cut ties with your agent, before you can query is is tough, it would be so much easier if I could have kind of on the side, emailed some agents, and you know, like, tried to see if anyone was interested in my manuscript before I cut ties, but I understand why that that rule is in place. Because it's not fair to the agent that you signed with, who's doing all this work on your behalf.
But yeah, and there was also, there was fear that caused me to doubt whether this was the right decision. And I'm gonna be totally honest with you, there was a little bit of ego too, because I signed with an agent at a big agency, really well known agency, and it was sort of like a feather in my cap that I'd had this. And especially because, you know, my business is writing, it's helping other writers, I coach writers, I edit manuscripts that people have written like, like, I deal with writing and books all day, every day. And the fact that I don't have a published book out there. I was felt a little bit of, you know, I just felt weird about it about not having a published book that I can point to. But having an agent and being on the traditional publishing route seemed like okay, well, at least I have this and now I don't have that anymore.
So all that to say it's, it's ego. That's just my ego talking. And ultimately, I want what's best for me and my career as a writer, I'm not rushing things. I trust that things are happening in the way that they're meant to happen and that I will find an agent who is just the absolute perfect fit for me. It might take a while. It might not. I'm turning over Trouble of a timeline and try not to be obsessive about it. And yeah, I don't even know how to wrap up this episode. It's just so weird to say this out loud. I don't know, part of me still thinks I'm crazy. Like, am I crazy to be giving up this agent? Was that was that stupid? I do wonder that sometimes but I ultimately feel good about the decision. So that's kind of the behind the scenes of of what's going on with my writing and where I'm at, and kind of behind the curtain a little bit about what happens when you leave your agent and try to find a new one. So if you're in the query trenches right now, I'm with you. I hear ya. It sucks. It's hard. But we are absolutely going to get through it.