016: 4 Tips for Receiving Feedback on Your Writing

It can feel overwhelming to get feedback from other people, especially if you're early in your writing journey. Today's episode contains my tips for how to receive feedback and what to do next.

- Click here for ways to work with me + a free character profile template: www.thekatiewolf.com/info

- The last Tuesday of the month is a Q&A episode! Submit your questions for me HERE.


- TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@katiewolfwrites

- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katiewolfwrites

 

 

4 tips for receiving feedback on your writing

Hi, Friends, this week's episode was inspired by my life right now, I just got the feedback from my agent on my manuscript, she gave me some suggestions and notes and things to think about. So I'm going to be diving back into my manuscript that I haven't looked at since August. And do some editing and some shifting. And so I have kind of a, not a process, really, but some things I keep in mind when I receive feedback on my writing. So I thought it would be a good idea to talk about it this week. And kind of timely, because I'm going through this in real time. So we're going to talk about what to do when you receive feedback, right. And this can be feedback from people in your life that you've given the manuscript to your writing to, this can be from beta readers, this can be from professional editors that you have hired that you're working with, it can be from your agent, as well, if you have an agent, anyone who's giving you feedback on your book.

First of all, I want to say that if this is new for you, if you are new to the process of getting feedback on your writing, I know that it can feel overwhelming, and it can feel it can feel devastating to get some criticism. And I don't say that to be like I'm not exaggerating, it can be devastating, I was devastated. The very first time that I received negative feedback on my writing. Even in the first couple of years, I was writing, anytime I would get some negative feedback, it felt absolutely soul crushing. So I just want to extend like, I just want to put this out there that I know it's hard. I know it's painful. This is something that gets better over time. However, I'm at a place now, in my writing, where because I've gotten so much feedback from the editor, the editors that I've worked with my writing group, my agent, you know, people who have read my writing, like because I've received so much feedback, I know how to handle it, I know how to accept it. Yeah, my feelings might be hurt a little bit, my ego might be a little bruised, but it's not painful anymore. It doesn't devastate me, I might have a hurt feeling for you know, hurt feelings for like 30 seconds, and then I move on. So I just want encourage you if you're in that place where it feels terrifying. Just stick with it. It's part of being a writer, and it's part of becoming a better writer, I have only improved, because I've let other people give me feedback on my writing.

Okay, so what do you do when you get feedback? My first recommendation, take some time to absorb it. Read through the feedback. If they've written comments in your manuscript. If they've summarized their findings in a letter or an email, if you've had a conversation with someone about your your story, take some time to absorb it, take a pause, take a break before you rush in to make changes. Kind of let their feedback and suggestions like just let it stew let it percolate for a little bit. And I'm going to talk more about why I recommend this later when it comes to like deciding what edits to do. But for now, I'll just say if you rush to make changes and do all of the changes that they suggest, I just think it's best to give yourself some time to process to decide if those are changes that you actually want to make. Because you think they're going to make your manuscript better and stronger. Or if you just feel like well, they suggested this so I might as well go ahead and do it. I feel like obligated to make this change. Okay, so just take a take a breath, take a break. What I did, I had a phone call with my agent earlier this week. And I took some notes, I have a good idea of what I want to do. But I haven't looked at it since then. It's been three days. I haven't opened up my manuscript. I'm just sort of letting my brain work through her suggestions. So diving right in, and at that, trust me I want to that's my first instinct is to dive right in and move things around and get all of it done in a span of like 48 hours. I just want to take a breath.

Okay. Second tip is to remember that any feedback someone gives you any criticism, any sort of suggestion that someone gives you on your story is not personal. they're critiquing or providing feedback on your book on your writing, not you as a person. This is really important, especially if you're new to receiving feedback from people. It is very easy as a writer as a creative person to link your identity to your creations. Because then it's an extension of yourself. It's something that you are putting out there, you're putting, you're making yourself vulnerable and saying, Yes, I created this, this is a part of me. But it's important to separate those two things. So for me, if someone says, this seem really isn't working, these characters just feel totally flat, the dialogue is stilted, like to just really need some work. You know, ideally, they'd have a better way of phrasing it and maybe some other positive feedback too in there. But if I get feedback like that from someone, I can digest it and say, okay, yes, it hurts a little bit. But they're not saying, Katie, you are a horrible person, how dare you write this thing? You might as well just give up on your writing. Because it's horrible. It's never gonna get better, like, why even bother? That's not what they're saying. Feedback is about your work, not about you as a person. So please keep that in mind. That's very, very important.

Okay, third tip, this is what I alluded to earlier, make sure that the changes that you make, if you do decide to make some edits based on the feedback that you're receiving, make sure that you agree with those changes and that they feel aligned. As an example, let's say that someone gives you feedback about your plot. And they say, I think it would be a lot more compelling if instead of this weird thing that happens in the book, you went in his totally different direction, and this thing happened to the characters instead. If that doesn't sit right with you, if that's not the direction that you want your story going in, don't make that change. You are the ultimate authority of your story, you get to decide what changes you want to make, you get to decide the direction the plot moves in, like, it's all up to you. Okay? If something really doesn't feel good, if it doesn't match up with the vision that you had for the book, then obviously it's fine to just disregard it.

This is especially important when it comes to big picture things like the example that I gave, if someone recommends, like really shifting the plot, if someone says, you know what, if you change the genre a little bit, like I know, you're saying this is, you know, romance, but maybe it'd be better as like this, you know, women's fiction or something. If someone is suggesting a big change like that, you need to take some time to decide if that's the direction you want to go in because that those are big changes. Now, you know, if someone's just suggesting, like, hey, the dialogue in this particular scene on this particular page doesn't feel totally realistic or authentic, you know, you can still do a gut check and make sure that those changes to the dialogue that you would make would feel aligned, of course, but it's much more important to do this with big picture things.

It's your story, you have to feel in alignment with the changes that you're making with the direction that it's going. My first book that I signed with my agent with the one that didn't sell, because it was out in submission during COVID. It was there were two points of view, it was a woman in her 20s. And then it alternated the chapters alternated between Leah this woman in her 20s and Susanna her mother when her mother was nine years old in 1980. So it alternated between the perspective of these two characters. And when my agent was was, you know, we headed out on submission and started to get some feedback from editors. And you know, we talked about like, okay, what would be like an absolute no for us in terms of, you know, if an editor wanted to do this, like, what would make us immediately say no, and one of my things was if an editor wants to completely cut out Suzanna's perspective and only have it focus on Leah, only have it focus on the perspective of this 25 year old. That would be a no for me immediately. I would not want to get a book deal. I wouldn't want not want the editor to acquire the book because that would seriously change it. And that's not — It would alter the book in a way that I just wouldn't feel good with. So that was a decision that I had to make.

Okay, my last tip is to get perspective from multiple people. This is ideal for a lot of reasons, a lot of eyes on your manuscript, a lot of people giving you feedback, like, yes, that's good. But you can start to see if there are, if some of the suggestions are coming up over and over, if multiple people say, Hey, I think the ending is sort of unexpected, like, it just felt sort of, not in line for the characters and the direction that things were moving in, if you get that feedback multiple times. That's something to pay attention to, and maybe give a little bit more weight to, whereas if you get five BETA readers to look at your story, and they all have different suggestions and different opinions, like that's good. Because some of those things just come down to personal preference, you know, as readers, like, even in my professional editing, like when I'm working on a client's manuscript, I'm very aware that, yes, objectively I can, you know, provide feedback on structure and plot and characters. But it's impossible to be completely objective, I'm naturally going to infuse some of my opinions into the feedback that I give, it's just how we are as humans. One editor might have a preference for one thing, one editor might have a preference for another. But again, if you have suggestions that come up over and over and over again, then maybe that's something to pay attention to, you know, that might be sign. So hope this is helpful. I'm certainly going to be taking all of these things I just talked about into consideration as I dive back into my manuscript. Wish me luck on edits, and I'll see you next week.

Katie Wolf